It's amazing how stress plays out in our lives. It can call us to action and/or cause us to have all sorts of ailments (physical, mental, AND spiritual). Don't get me wrong... we all have stressors in life and actually need them. It is how we react to them that potentially wreaks havoc with us. So, what is the answer and how do we cope? One thing you can do is take a vacation (in your mind anyway). Remember how it feels to escape to the beach, the mountains, or anywhere you can relax and let go of 'stuff' (even for 5 minutes). Also, try the remedy below.
Do exactly what the question asked you how to do... COPE:
Care for yourself (take care of your mind and body) and for others so you can function well.
Optimistic attitude/thoughts; keep these going, no matter what the circumstance/situation.
Play some of the time to release endorphins, laugh, and boost your mood.
Energize regularly through meditation, prayer, and other positive activity.
So think about it all and consider this acronym the next time you feel stressed. It won't disappear, but it may help relieve the negative emotions that try to slip in and trip you up. ^-^
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Disappointments
We all experience them... the disappointments in life. Sometimes a person lets us down, and other times, it is circumstances of life that do it. Can we get away from these? No, not really, but we can see or approach them differently. If we let each one 'eat' at us, we are setting ourselves up for depression or misery. On the other hand, if we just 'take' it, we are setting ourselves up for anger and defeat (and possibly resentment).
To combat these negative results, there are some options. First, we must come to realize and even expect that things and people will disappoint us, whether it is intentional (and often it is not) or accidental (and sometimes a simple misinterpretation). Knowing this and accepting that it will happen goes a long way toward helping us reframe these situations in our mind. The other part of that is to (gently) confront it. Go to the person who is 'responsible' for the disappointment and express yourself (but without attitude), then take on your own responsibility for letting it get to you. Lastly, put it behind you and move on, asking God what you can learn or how you can grow from this. He wants to change you and He will use every/any circumstance to do it... so I hope you will let Him. ^-^
To combat these negative results, there are some options. First, we must come to realize and even expect that things and people will disappoint us, whether it is intentional (and often it is not) or accidental (and sometimes a simple misinterpretation). Knowing this and accepting that it will happen goes a long way toward helping us reframe these situations in our mind. The other part of that is to (gently) confront it. Go to the person who is 'responsible' for the disappointment and express yourself (but without attitude), then take on your own responsibility for letting it get to you. Lastly, put it behind you and move on, asking God what you can learn or how you can grow from this. He wants to change you and He will use every/any circumstance to do it... so I hope you will let Him. ^-^
Monday, September 7, 2009
Ask and Accept
How many times have you needed or just wanted some help, but did not or would not ask someone? Maybe they even offered it, but you did not accept it from them (sometimes being the martyr or feeling embarrassed, etc.). Just ask yourself one question: what if the roles were reversed? Surely, you would help your fellow human being, friend, or family member (in most cases). We are not talking about enabling another person in their bad habit(s); but just simple things, like listening or cleaning or bouncing ideas off of...
God made all of us social beings, albeit unique, but still gave us the calling to fellowship together, live peacefully, and help each other. It is just part of our make-up. So, the next time you need help or someone freely offers it, be more than willing to Ask for it AND Accept it!
God made all of us social beings, albeit unique, but still gave us the calling to fellowship together, live peacefully, and help each other. It is just part of our make-up. So, the next time you need help or someone freely offers it, be more than willing to Ask for it AND Accept it!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Back to School
Did the summer really slip away already? Does the title of this blog bring positive or negative feelings... or both? It almost sounds like, "Back to the ol' drawing board". In a sense, it is, but this is a new 'blackboard', bringing an end to summer fun and a beginning to another year of learning, even for parents.
We are always embarking on journeys when it comes to parenting. Often, what we learn is not something taught in the classroom, and needs to be revamped yearly as well. For instance, discipline... it changes with their ages. Just when we find something that works, they grow into a new phase, or the same thing with one child just doesn't quite cut it with the other child(ren). So, keep an open mind to change as needed, but try to stick with the 4 C's of discipline:
Choices - you have more than one... let your child give his/her opinion as well, knowing that it's ultimately up to you.
Consequences - you decide the punishment to "fit the crime" according to their age and behavior (ie, remove a toy from your toddler that was thrown; add chores to your school age child that talked back or didn't complete a task; or take the car keys from your teen that came in late).
Consistency - stay firm and "stick to your guns" about what you take away or have them do (just be sure to think it through first). Never decide in haste and punish yourself!
Calmness - deliver all decisions in a calm manner (wait until you're ready, even if it is the next day before you can accomplish this).
Oh, and when you 'blow it' (as we all do), just learn from that, pick up the pieces, and keep on keeping on. Ask for forgiveness and be SURE to forgive yourself as well!
Remember that your child(ren) are growing and changing even more than you... and that "He who began a good work in you (them) will carry it on to completion". It will happen in God's time, not ours. I guess patience is a real virtue and important for all phases of parenting. ^-^ I wish you success on that journey!
We are always embarking on journeys when it comes to parenting. Often, what we learn is not something taught in the classroom, and needs to be revamped yearly as well. For instance, discipline... it changes with their ages. Just when we find something that works, they grow into a new phase, or the same thing with one child just doesn't quite cut it with the other child(ren). So, keep an open mind to change as needed, but try to stick with the 4 C's of discipline:
Choices - you have more than one... let your child give his/her opinion as well, knowing that it's ultimately up to you.
Consequences - you decide the punishment to "fit the crime" according to their age and behavior (ie, remove a toy from your toddler that was thrown; add chores to your school age child that talked back or didn't complete a task; or take the car keys from your teen that came in late).
Consistency - stay firm and "stick to your guns" about what you take away or have them do (just be sure to think it through first). Never decide in haste and punish yourself!
Calmness - deliver all decisions in a calm manner (wait until you're ready, even if it is the next day before you can accomplish this).
Oh, and when you 'blow it' (as we all do), just learn from that, pick up the pieces, and keep on keeping on. Ask for forgiveness and be SURE to forgive yourself as well!
Remember that your child(ren) are growing and changing even more than you... and that "He who began a good work in you (them) will carry it on to completion". It will happen in God's time, not ours. I guess patience is a real virtue and important for all phases of parenting. ^-^ I wish you success on that journey!
Friday, July 31, 2009
How do you feel? What do YOU think?
As a counselor and also as a human being, I have heard and said that many of our feelings are caused by our thoughts. However, what exactly is it that we could possibly be thinking (since we would certainly not choose to feel that way if we could...)?
Most feelings occur automatically as a reaction based on beliefs or 'premises' we have had since childhood, or the way we think things should be. For example, we might get irritated or angry at a loved one or friend for something they say or do, like teasing or an annoying habit (because we experienced that growing up or witnessed other negative reactions by someone). Or we get mad when plans don't work out the way we think they 'should'. However, God has bigger and better plans that we can't even fathom (nor do we see the whole picture as He does).
So... we can't always change the circumstance, but we can change our reaction to it! This change is a simple concept, yet difficult to put into practice (believe me, I know!). It starts by recognizing what we are indeed thinking and choosing to replace it with new thoughts, as well as letting go of the ‘shoulds’ and the little things (thus changing our attitude and reaction to life’s stuff).
One way to visualize that in our heads is to view it as ‘burning new CDs’ or ‘upgrading downloads’. We replace the old with the new. Will it work every time? Probably not, but we can continue to improve anyway!
In addition to doing that, here are some verses to use for 'upgrading' your thoughts in any and every circumstance:
"I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and on Your wondrous works." Psalm 145:5
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Phil. 4:8
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:16-18
Look forward, think positive, and keep becoming the new you in Him! ^-^ (2 Cor. 5:17)
Most feelings occur automatically as a reaction based on beliefs or 'premises' we have had since childhood, or the way we think things should be. For example, we might get irritated or angry at a loved one or friend for something they say or do, like teasing or an annoying habit (because we experienced that growing up or witnessed other negative reactions by someone). Or we get mad when plans don't work out the way we think they 'should'. However, God has bigger and better plans that we can't even fathom (nor do we see the whole picture as He does).
So... we can't always change the circumstance, but we can change our reaction to it! This change is a simple concept, yet difficult to put into practice (believe me, I know!). It starts by recognizing what we are indeed thinking and choosing to replace it with new thoughts, as well as letting go of the ‘shoulds’ and the little things (thus changing our attitude and reaction to life’s stuff).
One way to visualize that in our heads is to view it as ‘burning new CDs’ or ‘upgrading downloads’. We replace the old with the new. Will it work every time? Probably not, but we can continue to improve anyway!
In addition to doing that, here are some verses to use for 'upgrading' your thoughts in any and every circumstance:
"I will meditate on the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and on Your wondrous works." Psalm 145:5
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Phil. 4:8
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess. 5:16-18
Look forward, think positive, and keep becoming the new you in Him! ^-^ (2 Cor. 5:17)
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